|
Saw II preys on
Halloween fear factor to grab $30.5 million US
 Photo:
Catherine Zeta-Jones talks to reporters on the red
carpet before the premiere of 'The Legend of Zorro' this
Sunday, in Los Angeles.
LOS ANGELES,
California- Horror swung a sharper blade than Zorro at
the box office. With Halloween at hand, the bloody Saw
II won the weekend with $30.5 million US, almost double
the $16.5 million opening of Antonio Banderas and
Catherine Zeta-Jones' swashbuckling sequel The Legend of
Zorro, according to studio estimates Sunday. The
weekend's other big-name wide releases had so-so
premieres. Prime, starring Uma Thurman and Meryl Streep
in a romance between a thirtysomething woman and a
younger man, debuted at No. 3 with $6.4 million. Nicolas
Cage's The Weather Man, in which he plays a materially
successful TV forecaster whose personal life is a
tempest of disorder, opened at No. 6 with $4.3 million.
Hollywood's box-office slump abated from the
double-digit percentage declines of recent weekends,
though receipts still were down. The top 12 movies took
in $86.3 million, off 6.5 per cent from the same weekend
last year. Saw II, featuring Donnie Wahlberg as a cop
drawn into a deadly game with the serial killer of the
2004 horror hit Saw, easily outdid the original movie's
$18.3 million opening over last Halloween weekend.
Distributor Lions Gate, which acquired the low-budgeted
Saw at the 2004 Sundance Film Festival, rushed ahead to
get the sequel in theatres just a year after the
original's release.
 Saw
did a respectable $55.2 million at the domestic box
office, but the sequel got a big boost from fans who
discovered the franchise on DVD. "A lot of talk is
devoted to the theatrical moviegoing experience being
like a warmup for the DVD release. In this case, the DVD
release of the first film was a warmup for the huge
debut of the sequel," said Paul Dergarabedian, president
of box-office tracker Exhibitor Relations. "Plus, it's a
no-brainer. It's Halloween weekend." The Legend of
Zorro, with Banderas' masked swordsman fighting a secret
society aiming to ravage the United States amid
California's statehood drive in 1850, came in well
behind the 1998 summer hit The Mask of Zorro, which
opened with $22.3 million. Considering ticket prices are
up about one-third since then, Legend of Zorro drew only
about half the crowds domestically as the first movie
over opening weekend.
 Distributor
Sony noted that solid returns in
Latin America and Europe offset the weaker showing for
Legend of Zorro on the homefront. In about 50
international markets, the sequel took in $27 million,
up 22 per cent from the debut of Mask of Zorro in those
same countries, said Rory Bruer, Sony head of
distribution. "In regards to how you go about releasing
your film, it's just a matter of what brings the most
dollars in box office, whether domestic or worldwide,"
Bruer said. Estimated ticket sales for Friday through
Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theatres, according to
Exhibitor Relations Co. Inc. Final figures will be
released Monday. 1. Saw II, $30.5 million. 2. The Legend
of Zorro, $16.5 million. 3. Prime, $6.4 million. 4.
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story, $6.3 million. 5.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, $4.4
million. 6. The Weather Man, $4.3 million. 7. Doom, $4.1
million. 8. North Country, $3.65 million. 9. The Fog,
$3.3 million. 10. Flightplan, $2.6 million.
The return of the Prince of Wales
this time to America is under very different
circumstances, with a new wife, trying to see if America
is still interested in what the British Royal Family has
to offer
Princess Diana and John Travolta
dancing at the White House in 1985, as President
Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan look on
Photo: The Reagan White House was accustomed to a bit
of glamour.
Prince
Charles's last state visit to the US, in 1985, was a
glitzy affair epitomised by Diana dancing with John
Travolta. But as the prince prepares to return with his
new wife, it's uncertain how the couple will be
received. For many Americans, the visit 20 years ago
by Charles and Diana marked the beginning of a fixation
with the princess, her celebrity and the soap opera of
her marriage.
  On
a glamorous tour, Diana captured hearts, famously
dancing with John Travolta at the Reagan White House. In
a proud republic that had traditionally eyed royalty
with scepticism, it was an unquestionable PR coup. But
the return of the Prince of Wales this time is under
very different circumstances, with a new wife, trying to
see if America is still interested in what the British
Royal Family has to offer. The closest thing the US has
to royalty live in places like Palm Beach in Florida,
home to a number of Vanderbilts, Rockefellers, Kennedys
and Hiltons. Wealthy, glitzy, manicured - back in 1985
it attracted the royal couple for a glittering party and
sparked a social stampede. Leading the welcome then was
Dame Celia Lipton Farris, a British actress who married
a rich American industrialist and moved to Palm Beach.
She counts senior
Royals as friends and sees this week's visit as a way of
showing America that the Prince of Wales has moved on.
"They're not expecting Diana to come," she says. "That's
a stupid thing to expect - it's not something anybody
should consider. There's no comparison - he's at a very
different stage of his life now." Amid efforts to play
down expectations of glamour, there has been a concerted
effort to woo America ahead of the visit. Earlier this
month, one of the leading US breakfast shows, ABC's Good
Morning America, broadcast live from Windsor Castle and
the throne room of Buckingham Palace in what was
effectively a breathless advertisement for the British
Tourist Authority. Members of the US media were guests
at a glitzy reception at Clarence House, the Prince's
official London residence, and were afforded a tour of
the Gloucestershire farm where he grows organic produce.
.
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Photo: The couple made People's front page in 1999
when they appeared together.
Cover girl:
Prince Charles also agreed to be interviewed by 60
Minutes, a popular US TV news programme, for a show
aired on Sunday. But Charles and Camilla are entering an
America even more celebrity-obsessed now than 20 years
ago. For some this older, greyer couple are seen in
terms of their diminished market value as celebrities.
Diana appeared on the cover of People magazine 52 times.
Julia Roberts is the closest to that record with about
30 front pages. Yet today the only box office royal is
Prince William, says JD Heyman, a senior editor at the
magazine. He says it is unlikely that Charles and
Camilla will be troubling the printers. "Camilla is
obviously a woman at a different stage of her life with
a very different attitude to Diana. I think she doesn't
aspire to replace her in terms of celebrity which is why
she of course makes an ideal mate for Charles," says
Heyman.
 "Would
Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall make the
front page? We'll cover the visit of course but no I can
safely say they won't be making the cover." If the royal
couple are visiting a different America, they are also
visiting a changed White House. Ronald Reagan loved
royalty and entertaining, yet President George W Bush is
a wet blanket in comparison - early to bed, a
teetotaller and reportedly not much of a dancer. In the
five years he has been in power he has only hosted five
state dinners. Bill Clinton hosted 30 in eight years, Mr
Bush's father gave 29 in only four. The royal couple are
also visiting at a politically-charged time, some say a
defining moment for the presidency. Mr Bush has been
troubled by the indictment of a senior aide, the loss of
his Supreme Court nominee, worries about Iraq, rising
fuel prices and falling approval ratings. Some are
wondering whether Prince Charles will shy away from his
pet issue of climate change when he and the Duchess of
Cornwall take lunch and dinner with the notoriously
un-green Mr Bush. Kitty Kelley, the scandal-loving
American author of The Royals, has suggested the royal
couple could "provide the president with an entertaining
diversion from reality".
Photo: Prince Charles talking to 60
Minutes correspondent Steve Kroft.
Embarrassing
distraction: "After all, that's all Americans expect
of British royalty these days," she wrote in the
Guardian. For some the arrival of the newlyweds will be
a reminder of a troubled royal history. If Diana
mesmerised the American public with her beauty and
fairytale wedding, Camilla was viewed in certain
quarters as a homewrecker. The few hundred members of
the Diana Circle, self-appointed guardians of the
Princess's memory, campaigned against the prince's
remarriage earlier this year. There are fears some may
prove an embarrassing distraction at public events. At
the other extreme there will be a collective shrug of
indifference to the British Royal Family, effectively
kicked out of America's affairs in 1783, at the end of
the War of Independence. For the unimpressed, the only
curiosity will be over why anyone would pay taxes to
keep the royals in castles and diamond-encrusted tiaras.
Yet there are many who recognise that times have
changed, and who do not begrudge the couple their
happiness. "There won't be the same spirit as when Diana
was here, but that doesn't mean that Camilla is going to
be a flop," says Letitia Baldrige, a former chief of
staff for Jacqueline Kennedy and adviser to several
first ladies. "She is cut from a different piece of
cloth." Americans will look at Camilla as someone who
"has done a good job of keeping her husband happy," says
Baldrige. "I think she will be accepted as such and
people will forget the other part." What is certain is
there will be no avoiding the Diana comparison this week
in a country where affection for her remains. There will
be curiosity though in the arrival of the Prince of
Wales and Duchess of Cornwall, but it is a visit likely
to make ripples rather than waves.
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 ALISON MEYER:
BEST EMPLOYMENT MANAGER OF THE YEAR
You know how tough
and disappointing it is when it comes to dealing
with recruiters and headhunters. But with Alison Meyer,
the office supervisor of Adecco Creative, searching for
a job becomes a delightful experience. Meyer is
absolutely effective, warm, polite and resourceful. She
will get you the job you want. No hassles, no tassels.
She is always right on. Ready to serve with a beautiful
smile, a glowing, stunning and friendly face and of
course with sincere commitment. Yes, folks, she is a 9
to 5 employee, but she has her own " creative" talents.
She is a super photographer and a lover of the "Camera
Dramatique". She exhibited in New Jersey and New York
areas. To find a super duper artist working in an
employment agency like Alison Meyer becomes a blessing.
The International News Agency selected Alison Meyer as
the Best Employment Manager of the Year. Good for her.
 CNN
revamps prime time to make way for rising star
Photo: Aaron Brown, squeezed out.
CNN has squeezed out anchor Aaron
Brown to create a new vehicle for one of its rising
stars, Anderson Cooper. Cooper, 38, is a hot personality
since his on-the-scene coverage of Hurricane Katrina and
its effects on New Orleans. In a memorable exchange four
days after the storm, he cut off Senator Mary Landrieu's
lavish praise of various politicos to remind her that
he'd been seeing dead bodies floating in the streets and
that wasn't what Americans expected of their leaders in
a crisis. Brown, 56, was once considered a star at CNN.
He was thrust into a major role shortly after he joined
the network in 2001 because of his heartfelt anchoring
following the Sept. 11 attacks. His 10 p.m. newscast had
a following of fans who liked his cerebral approach and
quirky commentaries. But CNN's new president Jon Klein
was not a fan and was seeking a vehicle to give Cooper
more exposure. For the past month, Brown and Cooper had
been paired in a two-hour newscast, NewsNight.
 Photo:
Anderson Cooper, the rising star of CNN.
Network executives had concluded the
chemistry wasn't working and had been looking to rejig
the prime-time period, sources said. Cooper takes over
as sole anchor of the 10 p.m. slot in a two-hour show to
be called Anderson Cooper 360. This is the same
name as his former 7 p.m. show, which he hosted for two
years. CNN is building its new schedule around Cooper
and around its hottest show, Situation Room,
Klein said. "He's got a refreshing way of being the
anti-anchor," Klein said of Cooper. "He's not
quote-unquote reporting at you. He's just being himself.
He's asking the questions you would like answered. He's
getting involved the way you might. You feel that he's a
regular person that you can trust talking to you. He
brings such a passion to the storytelling that's
infectious." The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer
is taking over the 7 p.m. time slot vacated by Anderson.
Situation Room also runs 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. and
then The Border is Falling, The Border is Falling,
with Lou Dobbs, is on for one hour at 6 p.m. Kyra
Phillips's show, Live From, has been extended an
hour and will run from 1 p.m to 4 p.m. The announcement
was made in a week when Brown was off the air. He has
not been available for comment. Klein said the agreement
for Brown to step down was "mutually" decided because
there was no room for him to take a meaningful role,
according to Associated Press.
WHO IS AARON BROWN? With more
than 25 years of journalism experience to draw from,
Aaron Brown is a lead anchor during breaking news and
special events as well as anchor of
NewsNight With Aaron Brown, CNN's flagship, evening
newscast. Brown also serves as host of
CNN Presents, CNN's documentary series. Brown is
based in the network's New York bureau. Less than an
hour after the first terrorist attack on the World Trade
Center in New York on Sept. 11, Brown began covering the
unparalleled event from a rooftop in New York City. His
continuing live coverage from several points in New York
City, including Ground Zero, provided CNN audiences with
constant updates and insight as the crisis turned into a
search-and-rescue mission then evolved into a war on
terrorism. Since then, he has covered numerous news
events for CNN, including the ongoing war on terrorism,
Election 2002, the D.C.-area sniper and the aftermath of
the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster. During 2003's war
in Iraq, Brown anchored from the network's headquarters
in Atlanta, providing viewers with the latest
information from frontlines' reports as well as from
Central Command in Doha, Qatar, and Washington, D.C. In
2004, Brown served as co-anchor during the network's
"America Votes 2004" election coverage. In May, Brown
traveled to Islamabad, Pakistan, where he secured an
exclusive interview with President Pervez Musharraf. In
December of that year, Brown traveled to Indonesia to
cover the disaster and aftermath of the tsunami that
took more than 155,000 lives in South Asia. Previously,
Brown was the anchor of ABC's World News Tonight
Saturday and reported for World News Tonight with Peter
Jennings, Nightline and other ABC news broadcasts. He
was the founding anchor of ABC's World News Now. Brown
played a lead role in covering many news stories,
including the British return of Hong Kong to the Chinese
government, the Columbine High School shootings, the
trial of O.J. Simpson and Nelson Mandela's historic
election as president of South Africa. He also reported
on the restoration of Jean-Bertrand Aristide to the head
of Haiti's government, the death of Princess Diana, the
trial of Susan Smith in Union, S.C., and the California
earthquake in 1994. Additionally, Brown spent a year
reporting and covering the tobacco industry. As an
essayist for ABC News, Brown covered subjects ranging
from the impeachment of President Bill Clinton to the
life of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Before joining ABC
News, Brown anchored the evening newscast for KIRO-TV in
Seattle. Before that, he spent 10 years at Seattle's
KING-TV as a reporter and anchor. Brown has garnered a
number of awards including three Emmy awards, a duPont-Columbia
Award, a New York Film Festival World Medal and several
Sigma Delta Chi awards for political, general and sports
news reporting as well as in the category of Outstanding
Documentary. Brown is a native of Hopkins, Minn., and
began his broadcasting career as a radio talk show host
in Minneapolis and later in Los Angeles.
WHO IS ANDERSON COOPER?
Anderson Cooper anchors
Anderson Cooper 360°, an unconventional,
wide-ranging news program airing on CNN/U.S. weekdays.
Cooper, who joined CNN in December 2001, served as CNN's
weekend anchor before moving to the 7 p.m. hour in March
2003 following the war in Iraq. Since joining CNN,
Cooper has anchored major breaking news stories. He
traveled to Sri Lanka to cover the tsunami and was in
Baghdad for the Iraqi elections. Cooper also anchored
much of CNN's live coverage of the funeral of Pope John
Paul II in the Vatican City. For "America Votes 2004,"
he moderated a Democratic presidential candidates forum
the network sponsored with Rock the Vote. Before joining
CNN, Cooper was an ABC News correspondent and host of
the network's reality program, The Mole. Cooper anchored
ABC's live, interactive news and interview program,
World News Now, as well as providing reports for World
News Tonight, 20/20 and 20/20 Downtown. Previously, he
was a New York-based correspondent for ABC News,
reporting primarily for World News Saturday/Sunday.
Cooper joined ABC from Channel One News, where he served
as chief international correspondent. During that time,
he reported and produced stories from Bosnia, Iran,
Israel, Russia, Rwanda, Somalia, South Africa and
Vietnam. He also reported national stories that were
broadcast over the Channel One News school television
network and seen in more than 12,000 classrooms
nationwide. Cooper has won several awards for his work,
including a National Headliners Award for his tsunami
coverage, an Emmy Award for his contribution to ABC's
coverage of Princess Diana's funeral; a Silver Plaque
from the Chicago International Film Festival for his
report from Sarajevo on the Bosnian civil war; a Bronze
Telly for his coverage of famine in Somalia; a Bronze
Award from the National Educational Film and Video
Festival for a report on political Islam; and a GLAAD
Media Award for Outstanding TV Journalism for his 20/20
Downtown report on high school athlete Corey Johnson.
Cooper graduated from Yale University in 1989 with a
bachelor of arts degree in political science. He also
studied Vietnamese at the University of Hanoi. Cooper is
based in New York City.
Fine tuning: Naked Archeologist, Vegas
The Naked
Archeologist. VisionTV
 Photo:
Lara Flynn Boyle joins the cast of Las Vegas in a show that also
features a performance by the Pussycat Dolls on Monday night. (NBC.com)
On a Thanksgiving night when Major League Baseball
playoffs continue to throw a curveball into regularly scheduled
programs and the pagan U.S. networks are trotting out the usual murder
and mayhem -- tonight, on CSI Miami, Horatio solves a prison murder!
-- now might be a good time to belly up to The Naked Archeologist, if
you haven't done so already. The Naked Archeologist is a
Discovery-style weekly program that follows irrepressible Toronto
filmmaker and amateur archeologist Simcha Jacobovici on a pilgrimage
to the Middle East to expose Biblical history. More Jamie Oliver than
Indiana Jones -- hence the "Naked" part -- Jacobovici is
larger-than-life, figuratively and literally. He sticks his shaggy
head into caves, kicks up dust at archeological digs and gets in the
face of innumerable on-site experts in his quest to uncover the truth
behind historical myths and legends. He's loud. He's aggressive. He
laughs constantly. He's unafraid to ask pointed questions of learned
professors, academics and other assorted pointy heads with letters
after their names. Some of them appear to be pained by the intrusion,
but that doesn't dissuade him: He barrels on, determined to get to the
truth. He pretends to be dumb but in truth he's anything but. He says
he's an amateur but it's obvious from a single viewing that he could
teach the pros a thing or two. His zeal is contagious. A colleague
finds him irritating, but I don't agree. The I Am Canadian guy is
irritating. Ben Mulroney is irritating. Andrew Younghusband is
irritating. The Naked Archeologist is more endearing -- though,
personally, I'd prefer it if he kept his clothes on. Which,
thankfully, he does, most of the time. In tonight's outing, Fame &
Forgery, Jacobovici finds out why the Israel Antiquities Authority
limits access to certain artifacts, and uncovers the truth behind one
of archeology's most infamous scams: the fabrication of an entire
culture, complete with artifacts that made their way into some of the
world's most prestigious museums. He's a mythmaker and myth buster all
in one, and he's a blast to watch.
More News Next |
|
'Friendly fire' pilot victim
of coverup?
Photo: U.S. Air Force pilot Maj.
Harry Schmidt, who dropped the bomb that killed four Canadian soldiers
three years ago says he's the fall guy in a Pentagon coverup aimed at
hiding a dysfunctional command-control system.
OTTAWA- The U.S.
fighter pilot who dropped the bomb that killed four Canadian soldiers
three years ago says he's the fall guy in a Pentagon coverup aimed at
hiding a dysfunctional command-control system. In a new book, Maj.
Harry Schmidt, who has been assigned to desk duty for the balance of
his air force career, is quoted as saying the whole incident would
have been shoved under the carpet had it involved U.S. troops instead
of Canadians. In Friendly Fire: The Untold Story, author and
journalist Michael Friscolanti said the air force realized soon after
the air strike southwest of Kandahar that its entire command-control
system could be opened to scrutiny. In the first extensive interview
with the F-16 pilot since the April 18, 2002, incident, Friscolanti
says Schmidt believes a coverup was the only way the military could
protect the status quo going into the Iraq war. "I think I'm a victim
of the fact that it was an international accident," Schmidt told him,
adding it would have been the same if the victims were Danish or
French or anyone else in the U.S.-led coalition.
The Pentagon could have
kept the whole thing relatively quiet if the troops taking part in the
live-fire exercise that night were Americans. But, given that they
were Canadians, U.S. generals had two options, Friscolanti writes:
admit their command-control structure was severely flawed or find a
scapegoat. "You're going to put America's command-control structure on
trial?" Schmidt said during a series of interviews. "It's not going to
happen. "My situation is not unique as far as the accident is
concerned," Schmidt adds. "The circumstances are what's unique, and
that's what ended up burying me. They didn't want to fix the problem.
They wanted to fix the blame." Pte. Richard Green, Pte. Nathan Smith,
Cpl. Ainsworth Dyer and Sgt. Marc Leger were killed in the air strike.
Eight other members of Edmonton's 3rd Battalion, Princess Patricia's
Canadian Light Infantry were wounded. U.S. air force officials had no
idea the Canadians were conducting a live-fire exercise near their
base that night, even though the Canadians informed proper American
authorities.
Friscolanti writes they
had never even heard of Tarnak Puhl, the former al-Qaida training
centre where the exercise took place. Schmidt, a veteran pilot, was
convicted in July 2004 of dereliction of duty. He was reprimanded,
lost a month's pay and barred from flying U.S. air force jets again.
He now serves as a logistics officer with the 183rd Fighter Wing in
Springfield, Ill., counting the days until his retirement in 2007.
Schmidt and his wingman, Maj. Bill Umbach of the Illinois National
Guard, thought they were being fired upon. "The bottom line is I
pushed the button," Schmidt said. "So if you want to look at the
fault, I'm the one who did this. "However, if you backtrack to the
point of why I did this, I did this in accordance with the rules of
engagement and the command-control structure that I was working
under." Schmidt says he would talk to the families of the dead
soldiers if they asked him to, adding that until now his lawyers have
told him to keep his mouth shut. "I can tell them that I'm terribly
sorry that the accident happened," he said. "I can't even begin to
feel their pain. "I don't take it lightly, and I just truly hope that
in their heart of hearts they understand that it was an accident, that
it was nothing malicious. "There was no glory involved in that. There
is no glory in war. Glory is what historians make of wartime acts. You
don't think of that while you're out there in the heat of the moment."
-Steven Thorme
Friendly Fire: The Untold Story of
the U.S. Bombing that Killed Four Canadian Soldiers in Afghanistan
(John Wiley and Sons Canada Ltd.) $36.99, 596 pp.
How to Use Social Sarcasm
Sarcasm is so ubiquitous these days, it almost
goes unnoticed. But, as David Beckham proved, when he was sent off
this week for seemingly clapping a referee who had just booked him,
not everyone is a fan. The trick is to use sarcasm intelligently, and
sparingly.
They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Yeah,
right. Assuming "they" are the same experts who tell us "Look before
you leap" and "He who hesitates is lost", then I think we all know how
incisive and invaluable their advice is. What would we do without it?
What have these geniuses got against sarcasm? Well, it's rude. It is a
put-down, and often unkind. If someone says to you, "That was really
clever", you would prefer them not to be sarcastic. Also, it's crude.
It's about as clever as pointing and laughing. Compared to the
incisive brilliance of Oscar Wilde or Dorothy Parker, simply saying
the opposite of what you mean does not impress anyone with your
razor-sharp repartee. When David Beckham got himself sent off for
clapping the referee who had booked him, that so boosted his standing
in the nation, didn't it? (Incidentally, the England captain had the
last laugh, when it was later judged he hadn't meant to insult the
ref.)
Benedick, right, makes light of the cattle
drover's reputation for dishonesty
But "they" aren't so big and clever themselves,
putting down sarcasm. For a start, surely the lowest form of wit is
loud flatulence, not sarcasm. It can be a beautiful and impressive
thing (sarcasm, not the other, though each to their own). So may I
offer, in all due sincerity, my tips on how to love sarcasm and make
it work for you. Note first of all that we are all sarcastic, often
without noticing it. "Oh, very funny," we say, without cracking a
smile.
Modern-day master of the sarky quip, Jack Dee.
When the cat suffers an upset tummy on the lounge
carpet: "That's all I need." Some phrases are only ever used
sarcastically: My heart bleeds. Wise guy. My hero. Big deal. Our
beloved leader (in Britain, anyway). And any phrase at all that begins
"oh so..." ("He's oh so smart"). Some phrases have been used
sarcastically for so long they now mean the opposite of what they once
did: "Too bad," was once an expression of sympathy, till the sarcastic
crowd got their hands on it. But if you're willing to move on from
everyday sarcasm to something bigger and better, you will find it an
art, with a noble tradition. Learn from the masters.
Follow the bard: It goes back as far as the
Biblical prophets. When the prophets of Baal fail to call down fire
from heaven in a contest with Elijah, he cries: "Pray louder! He is a
god! Maybe he is daydreaming or relieving himself, or perhaps he's
gone on a journey! Or maybe he's sleeping, and you've got to wake him
up!" (Good News version). Some of the great figures of comedy, from
Beatrice and Benedick to Chandler Bing, have endeared themselves to
discerning audiences with sarcasm. "Why, that's spoken like an honest
drover" says Benedick, in Much Ado About Nothing, when Claudio lies to
him: "so they sell bullocks." "Ooh," says Chandler as Ross attaches
his nicotine patch, "I'm alive with pleasure now". Then there's Eddie
Izzard, recounting how he saw a London Underground guard checking an
unattended bag by shaking it: "Oh, Captain Clever! Rattle it, if it
doesn't go off it can't be a bomb!" And the king of sarcasm, Basil
Fawlty, when Mrs Richards complains about the view of Torquay: "What
did you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney
Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of
wildebeest sweeping majestically...?" So there is no reason why
sarcasm has to be dumb. Just as there are corny puns and inspired
ones, and funny and feeble versions of three men going into a pub, so
the glories of sarcasm are only limited by your wit. Learn from the
examples above: apply a flair for words, wit, a pinch of attitude, and
maybe a toilet reference, and the world will marvel. How hard can it
be?
People repellent: Could "they" be equally
wrong about sarcasm being especially rude and unkind? As if. Almost
all jokes are at someone's expense after all, apart from puns. And if
sarcasm is particularly apt for putting the fools in their places, it
can equally be self-deprecating, or just a complaint about the
outrageous trials of life that beset good people like us. That said,
it can be a powerful anti-personnel device, when the personnel around
you really deserve it. But a couple of caveats. Firstly, make sure
you're right.
Like all powerful weapons, you don't want sarcasm
to blow up in your face. I once worked for an uptight, hyper-organised
and over-sarcastic supervisor, and was sent in my first week to an
interview. "Still here?" she demanded, shortly before it. "Do you want
to be late?" "No..." "Because you're going to be, aren't you?" "No,
it's next door in half an hour." "Oh." She left a humbled tyrant, and
I enthroned on the adoration of my peers, which I like to believe was
sincere. Secondly, don't overuse it. It's like chilli. A little here
and there spices things up and shows them who's boss, but you don't
make many friends by sprinkling it in everything. Finally, my secret
weapon against overly sarcastic people: fail to understand sarcasm -
take everything they say at face value. "Well that's just great!" they
snarl. "Really?" you reply sweetly, "I thought you'd be upset." Keep
it up and they'll be banging their head against the wall. And we
wouldn't want that now, would we? -Steven Tompkins
Travolta dance stuns
churchgoers
Hollywood star John Travolta wowed guests at a
charity ball when he performed an impromptu Grease-style dance with
his wife, Kelly Preston. The usually private actor, famed for his
dancing roles in movies such as Saturday Night Fever, leapt from his
seat at the event in West Sussex. Thousands of people packed the
Church of Scientology in East Grinstead hoping to see the Pulp Fiction
star. Travolta, 51, took to the stage to dance to soul classic Stand
By Me.
John Travolta is an avid believer in the Church
of Scientology.
London bombings: Other performers flown in
for the fundraising event at the church's UK headquarters included
Broadway singer James Barber, musician Mark Isham and female vocalist
Elena Roggero. Organisers of the event, the International Association
of Scientologists, said Travolta - who pilots his own private jets -
had flown in especially for the gala ball, and was expected to leave
on Monday. During the concert cheques were presented to a number of UK
charities including those affected by the 7 July bombings. Travolta
and his wife also presented a cheque for £40,000 to the Sheriff of New
Orleans, Harry Lee. The Face Off star and Ms Preston helped police in
the city in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Sheriff Lee told the
concert audience: "After Katrina I was up to my elbows in alligators
and looked up and there was John and Kelly. "Not eight weeks later,
here I am 10,000 miles away in a room full of the most committed
people I have ever met." Travolta is a firm believer in the Church of
Scientology along with fellow Hollywood legend Tom Cruise.
Madonna defends Kabbalah
interest
The singer said her interest in the Kabbalah
frightens people.
Madonna has defended her interest in the
mystical Jewish teachings of Kabbalah saying media descriptions of it
as a cult make her angry. In a newspaper interview, the singer put
all the attention down to a lack of understanding of the religion. She
told the New York Daily News it seemed it "would be less controversial
if I joined the Nazi Party". Madonna said she could relate to Tom
Cruise, whose following of Scientology has attracted many column
inches.
"If it makes Tom Cruise happy, I don't care if he prays
to turtles," she said. "And I don't think anybody else should."
Directing career? The newspaper interview
with Madonna took place after a Kabbalah guru credited with persuading
her to make a trip to Israel in 2004 was arrested for alleged
extortion. Madonna said the Kabbalah was "not hurting anybody" and she
found it "very strange" that people questioned her following. "It
frightens people," Madonna said. "So they try to denigrate it or
trivialise it so that it makes more sense. "'What do you mean you
study the Torah if you're not Jewish?' 'What do you mean you pray to
God and wear sexy clothes? We don't understand this.'" According to
the Daily News, Madonna also said she was not interested in acting in
films anymore but did add she wanted to follow in the footsteps of her
husband Guy Ritchie by taking up directing.
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